Why Indeed?
by Chance2
Summary: Kaylee plays a little joke, but is there a secret motive for it? Kinda Kaylee/Jayne. Please review!
1. Default Chapter

Why Indeed?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly or any of the characters. If I did, I might be able to afford college. Alas, it was not to be.  
  
Author's Note: Just a little story with some Kaylee/Jayne hints. Might be later chapters if people review.  
  
  
  
"Inara?" Mal said, strolling casually into her quarters one day. "Have you noticed anything unusual lately?"  
  
Inara glanced up at the captain of Serenity. "Other than the fact that you continue to barge in here when I keep telling you not to?" she asked with barely hidden sarcasm before turning back to the letter she was writing.  
  
"That's not unusual," Mal pointed out. "I do that on a regular basis."  
  
"Is this why you came here?" asked Inara. "To pester me?"  
  
"Pester you?!" the captain gasped in mock dismay. "My lady, I'm hurt."  
  
"You are nothing of the sort," the companion retorted calmly.  
  
Mal's look of dismay quickly turned into a roguish grin. "You're right. I just was wonderin' if you'd noticed anything unusual lately-- specifically, Jayne's behavior."  
  
"What about it?"  
  
Mal began absent-mindedly tinkering with the items on Inara's dresser. "He's bein' all...civil and such."  
  
"And that's a bad thing?"  
  
Mal shook his head. "Didn't say it was bad, just...strange."  
  
"I suppose he has been a little more courteous than normal, but for Jayne that is not saying much. And please don't touch that."  
  
Mal had been reaching for an expensive-looking china vase, but obediently moved his hand back.  
  
"Kaylee has been a little more flighty than she usually is," Inara observed, with a sly sideways glance. "But I doubt there is a connection."  
  
Mal gave her a sharp look. "You don't think--" he trailed off with a sudden dawning expression. "I mean, they wouldn't, would they? Jayne wouldn't--with Kaylee--and--and..." He turned on his heel and stormed out, yelling angrily, "Jayne!"  
  
The beautiful companion watched him go while trying not to laugh. "You can come out now."  
  
Kaylee popped her head up from behind a couch. Her face was beaming with a cheerful smile. "Do you think we fooled 'im?"  
  
"From the way he hurried out of here, I could safely assume he has gone to have words with Jayne."  
  
Kaylee laughed. "Good. Thanks for your help, Inara." She turned to leave, but Inara stopped her.  
  
"Why the ruse, Kaylee?"  
  
The mechanic shrugged. "It's always fun tricking Captain. And gettin' Jayne in trouble. That's fun, too."  
  
"And no ulterior motives?"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Attention," said Inara matter-of-factly.  
  
"Who's attention? The captain's?"  
  
" Perhaps. Or maybe Jayne's."  
  
Kaylee laughed, but this time her laughter sounded a little forced and a might uncomfortable. "Why would I want to attract Jayne's attention?"  
  
"Kaylee!" the captain's voice was heard calling her name from down the corridor, giving the mechanic an opportunity to escape. Inara had never seen the girl look so relieved, even though, from Mal's voice, it sounded like Kaylee was in trouble.  
  
"Why indeed?" the companion said mysteriously watching the young mechanic go. 


	2. Hidin'

Disclaimer: Still do not own Firefly. Shucks. Author's Note: My apologies that this chapter is SO long in coming. I have no idea where this story is going but it's fun to do nonetheless. Please review! Enjoy.  
  
"Kaylee!" came a hissed whisper from somewhere in the cargo bay.  
  
Kaylee stopped mid-stroll and glanced up and all around, wondering where the voice was coming from.  
  
"Kaylee!"  
  
"Jayne?" Kaylee looked around again. She couldn't tell exactly where he was, but his voice seemed to be coming from near the crates that contained their latest cargo. "Jayne, where are you?"  
  
"Not so loud!" he hissed. He popped up from behind one of the crates and beckoned her over before ducking out of sight again.  
  
Kaylee wandered over, wondering what he was doing. She casually leaned over the crate, resting her weight on her elbows to get a good look at him. "Whatcha doin', Jayne?"  
  
"Hidin'," came the partly muffled answer. The mercenary was sitting with his back against the crate and his head pillowed on his arms.  
  
"Who ya hidin' from?" she asked conversationally.  
  
"Mal."  
  
"Why?" Kaylee knew perfectly well the reason, especially after the way the captain had stormed out of Inara's shuttle. Still, it was plain funny to see tough ol' Jayne this way.  
  
"Don't rightly know," he mumbled. He braved a glance up at the mechanic. "But he's got this, this look in his eye. And I saw him cleanin' his gun all purposeful-like."  
  
Kaylee almost laughed, he sounded so plaintive. "So what's the problem?"  
  
"He keeps mutterin' somethin' 'bout me and it don't sound good."  
  
"Kaylee!" the captain's sharp bark came from the catwalk. Kaylee whirled around as Jayne hit the floor. "Why aren't you in the engine room doin' that thing I pay you for?"  
  
Kaylee smiled happily. "Serenity's runnin' just fine, Cap'n; she don't need work. And I like it down here."  
  
"But the engine room is.safer. From those.people, you know, who might.gorramn it, Kaylee, find somethin' to fix!" Mal finally yelled and stormed off.  
  
Kaylee gazed up in the direction the captain had stomped, wide-eyed. He was getting frustrated, the way he did when he didn't quite know what to do. She had a sinking feeling that this plan of hers might not have been the best idea.  
  
"Uh.Jayne?" Kaylee whispered out of the corner of her mouth. "You might wanna lay low for awhile."  
  
"But I ain't done nothin'," came the pitiful whine from the floor as Kaylee scurried away, intent on escaping the captain's wrath. 


	3. Interrogation

Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly. 'Nuff said.  
  
Author's Note: If my translations are wrong, I sincerely apologize. Oh, and a big thanks to all my reviewers. You guys are the best!  
  
It was an hour or so before Jayne dared to move from his hiding spot. He cautiously peered over the crates, glancing both ways to make sure no one was coming. He stood up slowly, his limbs stiff after being cramped for so long, but the sound of a footstep on the catwalk made him freeze. Jayne stood absolutely still, hoping that if he didn't move, he would blend in with the floor.  
  
"I see you."  
  
Jayne dared to glance upward only to see River peering through the bars at him. His eyes narrowed slightly, but his shoulders relaxed as he heaved a sigh.  
  
"Gorramit, girl, nearly gave me a heart attack," he growled.  
  
"Not right," she said.  
  
Jayne decided to play along. "What's not right?"  
  
She stared at him a moment before she said, "Myocardial infarction usually results from blockage in a coronary artery which severs blood flow, causing the myocardium to die from oxygen depravation."  
  
Jayne stood with his mouth open, a bewildered look on his face. "Huh?"  
  
River rolled her eyes. "Heart attack's not usually caused by surprise."  
  
"I knew that," Jayne growled, trying to regain his composure. "'S just an expression." He moved away, heading towards the door down to the passenger dorm. It wasn't the way he wanted to go, but it was the quickest route away from River.  
  
"That's not the right way. Shouldn't take the low road," River called after him, but Jayne ignored her.  
  
"Ruttin' crazy," he mumbled. He turned the corner and ran straight into Mal.  
  
"Goin' somewhere?" the captain asked, giving him one of those looks that tended to freeze the blood.  
  
From behind him in the cargo bay, Jayne heard River say in a sing- song voice, "Told you."  
  
"Just...ya know, goin' to my bunk," Jayne said, his eyes flicking back and forth, in search of an escape route. He didn't know which was worse, withstanding Mal's wrath or River's lunacy.  
  
"That a fact?" Mal said, crossing his arms over his chest, and taking a menacing step forward. Jayne automatically took a step backwards.  
  
"Yep, just...goin' straight to my bunk. Not takin' no detours or nothin'," Jayne affirmed, trying to sound casual.  
  
"Not even to the engine room?"  
  
"Why'd I wanna go there?"  
  
Mal took another step forward. Jayne stepped back again, but this time his boot caught on the threshold of the door. He landed soundly on his backside with a loud thump.  
  
"How's about you and me don't play games, Jayne," said Mal, standing over the mercenary. "I don't know what you and Kaylee is up to, but I want it to stop, dong ma?"  
  
"There ain't nothin' between me an' little Kaylee," Jayne said, holding up his hands in placatory gesture.  
  
"You're not lyin' to me, are you, Jayne? We both know how I feel 'bout that."  
  
"It ain't a lie, Mal," Jayne argued, trying to keep the whine out of his voice. He paused, gauging the captain's reaction, then realizing that Mal wanted more, he muttered, "Alright, might have a small crush...but that's it, I swear! Ain't nothin' more than that," he finished hurriedly.  
  
"See that it stays that way," Mal said. He walked away, muttering, "One romance on this boat is more than enough." He made his way up the stairs and through the corridors to the dining area, where he found Inara making herself a cup of tea.  
  
"So, I assume all has been revealed?" she asked him, not looking up.  
  
Mal reached passed her to grab a mug for himself. "How did you—"  
  
Inara raised her eyebrows. "In case you hadn't noticed, voices tend to carry."  
  
"That so?"  
  
"It is."  
  
Mal nodded, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "And I suppose your knowin' had nothin' to do with the little scheme you and Kaylee were cookin' up earlier in your shuttle."  
  
An inscrutable smile played at her lips. "You'll have to ask Kaylee; a Companion never reveals her secrets." With that Inara glided passed him in the direction of her quarters.  
  
Mal watched her go before he shook his head. "Ta men xu yao ai hao," he muttered. "Too much ruttin' time on their hands," and went to interrogate his mechanic.  
  
*******************  
  
Translations:  
  
dong ma: understand  
  
Ta men xu yao ai hao: They need hobbies. 


End file.
